Catching up

Hey everyone, It's been a loooooong time. I have been kind of pressed for time ever since school started. I've been really busy juggling 5 classes, my full-time job, a new "friend", old friends, and for the past week . . . STREP THORAT! Everyone tells me that I pretty much got sick by not taking care of myself (you know not sleeping enough or eating well), but I can't help it. When life comes at you fast there is nothing you can do but move twice as fast.
So, I’m trying to catch up with the rest of the world after a week of fighting a nasty infection. The first thing I see after healing? Kanye West stealing Taylor Swift’s moment on stage. Now, like most of the American populace, I thought that Kanye was a huge jerk and had no right to go up on stage and steal the spotlight. From what I hear, Kanye has apologized and said that what he did was wrong. I’m thinking his issues go deeper than Beyonce’s losing out to Taylor Swift. People are now talking about boycotting his music and how he deserves to be banned from future MTV award shows, but seriously, why? He didn’t go up there and beat Taylor Swift with the freakin’ Moon Man or anything serious. He was just drunk and made a fool of himself on T.V. I know he’s done and said some other ridiculous things, but I mean isn’t that what Hollywood is all about? Starting up things so that people get interested in you? All the stars on that award show have at one point or another done or said something stupid and caused some sort of controversy, but they moved on. What’s worse is that now THEY are taking stabs at Kanye too, like they have never been in his shoes.
Anyway, my point isn’t to defend Kanye or anything, but I think people shouldn’t judge him as harshly as they have. At the end of the day we're all human, and everyone acts like a nut sometimes, especially celebrities, so why is everyone overreacting?

Elvis Presley

I am a big fan of Elvis Presley. I know he was big way before my time, but I just love his style. He is one of the first stars that influenced the music and artists that we have today; and he continues to do so. Today, 32 years ago, Elvis died of an accidental drug overdose. He was supposed to start his big comeback tour the day after (sound familiar?) . I thought I'd post one of my favorite videos of Elvis doing his thing. This was before they would only film him from the waist up because his style was sexual and obscene. Enjoy.

Short Poem.

I know I was trying to hard
I have nobody to blame but myself
When you were trying to get to know me
I foolishly gave you somebody else

I tried to push the real me aside
I deliberately put on a show
I did it out of fear and shame
afraid you wouldn't like the girl I know

I became the person I thought you were looking for
While you were trying to get me to see
I had everything you ever wanted
You would have been happy with just me

Excuse Me While I Pick Up My Jaw From The Floor

Im going to post a story I have been telling my friends this past week, and it goes like this:

Last Saturday I went on a date.

Now, if you know me personally you know that these kinds of stories don’t end there, and you know its not going to end on a good note. This guy(we'll call him . . . T) had been asking me out for a month (I met him online *blush*), and since I was on vacation I decided to go out to sit and talk with this guy. Everything started off normal; there were smiles, laughing, and all the getting to know each other conversations. About fourty minutes later we start getting a little quiet and I suggested we do something else. T tells me that he doesn’t have any money because he just finished paying all his bills, and that we should just "chill" at his house or mine (Um. . .no). I guess you can say that things start to get bad here after I told him that I would pay for a movie. He started laughing and said that he wouldn’t let me do that. I then offered to get something to eat or just a soda, but he vehemently refused. He was not going to let me pay for ANYTHING; so we both decided to just do something some other night when HE had money.

Monday afternoon I get a text from T asking me if I wanted to go to the movies at 6: 30 and that he'll pick me up; I agreed happily cause I had nothing to do. About an hour later he texted me if it would be alright if I paid for the movies (What? Didn’t you say you wouldn’t allow me to pay for anything, guy?); my stupid answer: Sure. Ten seconds later I get THIS message: Baby . . . . . . Is it alright if you gas up my car? Ill pay you back Friday. I literally let out a big WHAT?! at my phone. I couldn’t believe what he had just asked! Did HE know what he had just asked? I texted him back telling him that we should probably just go out some other time. He later texted me: wow. . . . . . bye . . . . . you can lose my number.

The End.

I gladly erased his number, but I was left totally confused. How did this guy, who insisted that only he could pay on a date, end up asking a girl he just met two days before to pay for the date . . . and a tank of gas? Then he got angry at ME because I suggested we go out another time and then decided that it was worth not talking to me ever again. Did I do something wrong? Did he completely lose his mind in two days?

???

Feel free to comment people and let me know if YOU know what happened.

Fear Is Just A Four Letter Word

Hello all, my name is Natalia, and I am afraid.

I go through life living in fear. I'm afraid of the future, afraid of my past, afraid of who I am, afraid of failure, and even more bizarre (sigh) afraid of success. I know I can't live like this forever, and I really don't want to, because I am causing myself unnecessary anxiety and misery. In the past couple of years I have tried everything from self help books to counseling, but I haven't made a lot of progress. To be honest, it's mainly because I haven't really tried hard enough to make a change, because . . . well, you guessed it, because I am afraid.

How is blogging going to help me?

I love keeping journals. I write just about everything from poetry to just random quotes I find that make me happy. I have tried keeping journals since I was a kid, but dreading that someone might read them, I always end up ripping pages out or throwing them away completely. I always think that if people were to read what was going through my head, they would think I was dumb, overreacting, or insane. So, I have decided to face THIS fear by blogging. I not only decided to keep a permanent record of my thoughts, fears, and desires, but I decided to do it (EEEK) publicly. It's a small step towards change, and I figured that if I could do this, I could do anything (right?). Yes, I am breaking out in a nervous sweat and hives right now, but I will go through with this, because fear is no longer an option.

Here it goes.

GULP!